Horror Briefs: Ulli Lommel

By: DThompson | in: Movies |

Diary of a Cannibal

I just watched a movie called “Diary of a Cannibal” and I want you to remember this name: Ulli Lommel.
Why? This movie, shot on a home video camera with a script that was probably written on the back of an envelope had me wanting to actually bless my fast forward button. Diary consists of bad acting, non-existent lighting, jarring edits, and endlessly repeated scenes that go nowhere and mean nothing. That’s because Ulli Lommel is without a doubt the worst director currently alive. It’s a shame there isn’t some crap movie SWAT team to swoop in whenever a film of this caliber is being extruded to kill everyone involved. At the very least Lommel should have a restraining order making it a felony offense for him to come within 500 yards of any motion picture camera. Though this talentless hack continues to put out the worst film in history, again and again and again, he has somehow managed, since 2004, to release a mind boggling eleven films. Proof positive that God cares nothing for our day to day lives, this string of cinematic drek makes a conscientious reviewer search for new ways to say “horrible”. What do you say when “suck” just doesn’t remotely cut it? I’ve settled on “pukes”. As in: Every film by Ulli Lommel pukes.

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Posted on October 30, 2007

Comments

3 Responses to “Horror Briefs: Ulli Lommel”

My Ghillie » Horror Briefs: Ulli Lommel on October 30th, 2007 11:27 am

[…] Check it out! While looking through the blogosphere we stumbled on an interesting post today.Here’s a quick excerptI just watched a movie called “Diary of a Cannibal” and I want you to remember this name: Ulli Lommel. Why? This movie, shot on a home video camera with a script that was probably written on the back of an envelope had me wanting to … […]

Joe on November 5th, 2007 8:27 pm

I have seen Zombie Nation directed by him, it is the worst stinkiest piece of crap I have ever seen. He is a poor excuse for a director. After watching the movie and seeing the cover art for the dvd, you will know that most of the budget was spent towards the make up and photoshop effects for the box art. What a piece of crap director, even worse is the commentary, they talk like they are proud of this horse shit of a film. I will never rent one of his movies.

DThompson on November 11th, 2007 6:13 pm

Joe, I haven’t personally seen Zombie Nation, but if you say Ulli Lommel directed it, and that it’s the worst film you’ve ever seen, I have no trouble believing you.
My above comments about restraining orders and SWAT teams probably seem like jokes to many people but you and I have seen his “work”, and we know the truth. Ulli Lommel is quite simply the biggest danger facing any modern movie renter.