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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom Of Strangely Entertaining Bullshit

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By: DThompson | in: Movies |

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I could almost leave it at the title, couldn’t I? Today is the grand and glorious day all Indy-philes have been waiting for. At least that’s what I read on the web. Has anybody really been desperately hoping for a new Indiana Jones film? I mean, when I heard there was going to be a new one I thought “That’s nice.” and pretty much stopped there. Truthfully, I had no pressing plans to go see this movie but I had to go to jury duty and it turned out to be a light docket so instead of keeping me in the juror pool detainment chamber all day I was set free at ten in the morning.

What’s a guy who’d normally be at work to do when he finds himself downtown with the day off? So, “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” it was. Which turned out to be as entertaining a piece of utterly ludicrous falderal as I’ve seen in quite some time.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I have to say this up front. We all know that these kinds of films, based as they are on Saturday matinee serials, can play fast and loose with reality. If, say, the scene in “Temple of Doom” where Indiana Jones and company successfully escape a crashing plane by bailing out in a rubber life raft was a problem for you, well, then you might want to give “Crystal Skulls” a pass. However, if that scene, in all its impossibility heaped on impossibility heaped on impossibility just put a big stupid grin on your face, trust me, you are going to LOVE this new movie.

This film is a series of entirely impossible escapes wrapped around a completely impossible plot and it makes for one truly great adventure film. In fact, the more ludicrous the film gets, the more enjoyable it becomes. OK, so ridiculous nonsense tends to make me stupidly happy. Sue me. So beautiful KGB lieutenants in form-fitting grey uniforms and fire engine red lipstick never really shot up top secret U.S. military installations. So what? Oh, she’s psychic. Did I mention she was sort of kinda maybe a psychic, sort of? And, that it ties in to – OK no spoilers, but the evil sorta psychic Russian secret agent lady with the Dracula accent really does wear the kind of uniform that keeps you awake during bothersome plot exposition. No lie there.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Also keeping you awake is great editing which never once fails to make it seem like 65-year-old Harrison Ford is capable of trading punishing body blows with, oh, pretty much everyone and waltzing way like it’s nothing much. Shia La Beouf goes toe-to-toe with the old master and holds his own, as “The Wild One” era Marlon Brando-esque Mutt. Which allows for a great chase scene on (and off) (and on again) a motorcycle. OK, so KGB agents never engaged in daylight car chases of U.S. citizens across lawns and through ‘Better Dead than Red’ rallies. Yeah, I know. What about it?

The pace is, naturally, rocket engine fast, the effects are great and the acting is as good as it needs to be. Which is to say, believable in a sea of ‘you gotta be kidding me’ moments, anchoring the viewer to reality with the slenderest of threads. In fact, the performances are the only thing keeping the film from spiraling straight off into some bizzarro world dimension. This movie is as fun as an thoroughly impossible action film gets and pretty much guaranteed to give you a rush of happy exhilaration. From what I’ve heard about “Speed Racer” you could do a lot worse.
VERDICT: Spielberg takes ridiculous clap trap to the level of high art.


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Posted on May 23, 2008

Comments

15 Responses to “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom Of Strangely Entertaining Bullshit”

  1. Charbarred on May 23rd, 2008 4:15 am

    That’s the perfect title for the A.D.D. generation. I’m wondering how many people are going to skip your review altogether and just rely on the title.


  2. Corgi on May 23rd, 2008 8:26 am

    But that’s the beauty of Indiana Jones, all four of them–the absolutely insane chain of events. It’s fun because it takes reality and twists it to be impossible if you stop to think about it, but hella fun on the big screen.


  3. DThompson on May 23rd, 2008 9:00 am

    I agree completely with both of you :)


  4. okcutie on May 23rd, 2008 9:35 am

    I have loved all of the Indiana Jones movies and of course Harrison Ford. I loved your article very much and what you had to say about his age and the acting making the movie. I just can’t wait to see this one with him at it again.. thank you


  5. mozzer on May 23rd, 2008 10:19 am

    I’m definitely checking out this flick. Just no melting faces this time around, ok? As a kid, that scene made me want to throw up in the theater.


  6. Charbarred on May 23rd, 2008 12:33 pm

    Same here (with the melting faces and throwing up). The “open heart surgery” in the second one wasn’t much easier on the eyes.


  7. DThompson on May 23rd, 2008 2:20 pm

    Not a melting face to be seen and no burning open heart surgery either.


  8. Sarah-Jane Harvey on May 24th, 2008 9:04 am

    hehe…I couldn’t stop smiling when I read your views…. its fantastic. Yes you are right…in one hand it will be great to see another Indiana Jones movie and on the other hand it might just spoil things. lmao


  9. Jeremiah on May 24th, 2008 9:13 am

    I honestly don’t like any of the films, so I have no desire to go see this one. But, as fate would have it, my girlfriend is a huge Indiana Jones fan and probably wants to drag me into the nearest theater to watch this heap of crap at least 3-4 times *sigh*.


  10. Ann Thoroughly on May 24th, 2008 1:06 pm

    an thoroughly impossible, huh


  11. DThompson on May 24th, 2008 4:49 pm

    Alright, Ann Thoroughly, nobody’s berfect, eh!


  12. emonome | Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull on May 24th, 2008 11:06 pm

    […] probably should’ve listened to DT. I didn’t, and I paid dearly for it. Not the $12 I for the ticket; the 2 hours and 3 minutes […]


  13. Tibi Puiu on May 27th, 2008 8:55 am

    That bad, huh?


  14. xavier pinto on May 27th, 2008 4:24 pm

    They could have done better research for the movie….for crying out loud the Nazca lines are in errr Nazca and not in Cusco like they show in the movie….Also Indy was taught Quechua when captured by Pancho Villa!!!!…Pancho Villa was a Mexican revolutionary, Quechua is the native tongue of indigenous people that inhabit the Peruvian Andes…different side of the American continent…Jesus!….I know this bc I was born in Peru. When I saw the movie i couldn’t stop laughing my ass off…and felt sorry for them.


  15. Wednesday Smilejerker: the Indiana Jones theme song [parody] | ZME Music on May 28th, 2008 1:14 pm

    […] the theater unimpressed. My opinion totally echoes the one of DThompson from The Plugg, who wrote a review about it (you should all check it out). Anyway we’re not here to discuss about the movie or […]


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